I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
