just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
