did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
