Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
