Porn is love you can see.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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