i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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