Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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