Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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