yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
