Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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