Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
