This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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