Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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