im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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