K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
