with your own penis?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
