I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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