Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sober January is a disaster.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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