We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
