I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
