Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
