Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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