I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Too much gin, very little bucket
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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