do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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