so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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