Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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