At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
