Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
