so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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