yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if only i could text you this smell
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
