All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
