Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
