New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
