ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think a kid would responsible me up
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
