i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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