just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
