Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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