You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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