I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
