im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
