OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
