yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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