I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
