Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
