i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
