I think I died a long time ago.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
