Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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