ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
