im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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