When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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